


why regret what could not be?

by enjolraspermittedit



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/F, PRESIDENT SNOW AND THE GOVERNMENT RUIN EVERYTHING, Post-74th Hunger Games, Pre-Victory Tour, and yes the title is a les mis lyrics oops, confessing feelings without directly confessing feelings, kinda sadish but idk if i'd call it angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 18:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9837137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjolraspermittedit/pseuds/enjolraspermittedit
Summary: Katniss and Madge discuss the Victory Tour and Katniss's future with Peeta.





	

Ever since she’d returned home from the arena, Katniss Everdeen found herself spending an increasing amount of time at Madge Undersee’s house. With tensions high between Katniss and Gale, and Katniss and Peeta not speaking to each other, sometimes Madge felt like the new Victor’s only friend.

Katniss wasn’t used to sharing her interests with others, but for some reason she immediately felt comfortable teaching Madge how to shoot a bow-and-arrow. Madge wasn’t the best at it, but that didn’t seem to bother either of the girls. Madge didn’t need to hunt in order to survive, and Katniss didn’t particularly need her as a hunting partner, just as a friend.

Madge shared her interests with Katniss as well, or at least tried to - Katniss wasn't a master at piano, but she very much enjoyed listening to Madge play the instrument. Occasionally, Madge would hit the keys while Katniss sang. 

Katniss also felt comfortable confiding in Madge, something she never expected to be able to do with anyone besides from her sister or Gale. Neither girls were much of a gossip, but they eventually warmed up to the point of being able to comfortably talk about issues in their own lives. 

Katniss mainly talked about her feelings regarding the Games and the Victory Tour, as she had nobody else to talk to about it. Her mother was distant, she and Peeta were ignoring each other, it was a topic she avoided with Gale, it was too upsetting for Prim, and Haymitch was too drunk to comprehend anything that Katniss said. 

One day, the two girls were inside Madge’s room, Madge attempting to comfort Katniss over the upcoming Victory Tour.

“I don’t want to have to go out there and look in the faces of those dead children’s families. Especially in the Career districts…and in Eleven…” Katniss said. She had directly killed the two tributes from One, as well as the girl from Four and the boy from Two - Cato had been Katniss and Peeta's final enemy during the climax of the Games. The girl from Two might have survived if not for the events of the feast. And on a completely different note, Rue and Thresh had personally saved Katniss in the arena - Rue being her ally, Thresh sparing her after discovering she'd befriended Rue and murdered Marvel. 

“It’s quite vile, the whole thing,” Madge said in a quiet tone. Being the mayor’s daughter, she wasn’t supposed to speak ill of the Capitol or insult anything relating to their precious Games. And she never did before, not until her and Katniss became close. Even with her, she was careful.

Katniss nodded. “And Peeta and I are still cold to each other. I have no idea how we’ll be able to pull this off.” She hadn’t directly told Madge that the love story was just for show, but she’d dropped comments here and there that implied so, always choosing her words carefully out of fear of being overheard by the wrong person.

“I’m sure that Haymitch will sort things out between the two of you. Effie as well,” Madge reassured her. 

“Maybe not. Haymitch is too drunk, Effie too...Effie,” Katniss replied.

“Does Peeta love you?” Madge asked, her voice barely audible.

Katniss nodded. “He does, or at the very least he used to. Who knows how he feels about me now?”

“I can’t imagine he stopped loving you. Do you love him?” Madge asked.

“I don’t have much of an interest in boys,” Katniss whispered, keeping the answer simple. She'd always been too busy to search for a boyfriend, and no boy ever came her way.

“I don’t either,” Madge said with a shrug. “Never really have. I tend to find girls more attractive. Is that odd?”

“I wouldn’t say it is, no,” Katniss replied. “Same with me.” It was never really a conscious thing - she just tended to pay more attention to her own gender, which occasionally resulted in observing their beauty. It had always been in a casual way, though. It was never supposed to mean anything, she told herself.

“Really?” Madge said. “I’ve never met any other girl with an open interest in girls before.”

“Me neither. I’m sure there are many out there, though.” This Katniss knew to be a fact. She was used to overhearing her prep team talking about Capitol women who preferred to be with other women. A couple people at her school, too, but they always kept it on the down-low. To some people it was a big deal, to others it wasn't, and you could never know who would react badly.

Madge didn’t say anything, but rather took Katniss’s hand in her own. To Madge's surprise, Katniss didn’t move away. Madge knew that a romantic relationship with Katniss could never work, given the circumstances. But that wouldn’t make her feelings go away.

“If it weren’t for…certain events and circumstances…do you think you would or could end up dating a girl? Or even marrying one?” Madge asked shyly.

Katniss didn’t answer. In an ideal world, that sounded perfect, but unfortunately she did not live in an ideal world. In her situation, a future with anyone besides Peeta Mellark was impossible.

She realized that Madge was still waiting on a response, so Katniss halfheartedly shrugged her shoulders. “Yes, but it's simply not plausible for me."

“You never know,” Madge said. She kissed Katniss quickly on the cheek. “The Districts are rioting. A spark is aflame. And if you burn…I burn with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this as a short thing for a friend and she wanted me to upload it here.  
> i've been into thg since 2011 but i've somehow never written for it so here you go I guess? y i k e s  
> Anyway let's act like Madge survives Mockingjay and marries Katniss, and Peeta is their rad baker neighbor who is totally fine with everything
> 
> ALSO EDIT I PROMISE THAT MADGE'S LAST LINE IN THE FIC WAS NOT MEANT TO BE A REFERENCE TO HOW SHE DIES HOLY FUCK  
> tumblr - rated-r-for-grantaire


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